"Wide Awake" (Confessions of a Shepherd)

It's 2:15 a.m. and I am wide awake. Unusual for me, I must say. Just had trouble settling in for the night so I got out of bed and came to the sitting room.

Honestly, I have had some discomfort in my stomach, but I think I'm really just too relaxed to sleep. I know that probably sounds weird, but this weekend I scheduled myself out of our local pulpit simply to give my brain a weekend off and to be unplugged from ministry to be with my precious wife for a short season. 

Why do I need to unplug? Well, you may not know this, but after I preach on Sunday mornings, my mind "is engaged" nearly nonstop from the present Sunday afternoon to the following Sunday morning to know the mind of Christ. 

You see, because I pray always for the mind of Christ, I love to seek His thoughts always, especially as it pertains to preaching Sunday mornings at our local church. It's a great way to live, however, humanly I am sometimes drained and this particular weekend "off" from all the duties of shepherding and especially preaching (though I live to preach Christ) is somehow a good thing.

I guess I am, sort of, officially on vacation, however, I will still attend Sunday worship on Sunday morning, just not at my home church. 

This may come as a surprise, but it's more difficult on me when I do not preach than when I do preach, because after nearly 20 years, preaching Sunday after Sunday is now "normal" for me. So, it is particularly abnormal for me to sit in our local church on a Sunday and not share the Gospel. I mean I do it sometimes, and it's often a good thing, but it's really somewhat awkward and for whatever reason, more draining than actually preaching. 

So, this Sunday, I get a rare visit to another church without any real responsibility. Yes, I plan to simply attend and to profoundly worship as a Jesus-believer. 

Why am I blogging all of this? Not sure. But I feel better just "talking" about it. I also know many of the people who follow my writings fervently pray for me. 

So, thanks for praying for me and for listening to me. I'm not drowsy at all, but I am as I said earlier, "really relaxed". Maybe I'll fall asleep before daylight. But even if I don't, I feel pretty rested already. 

By the way, in case you're curious, though I am wide awake, I'm not counting sheep. I'm comfortably concentrated on the Good Shepherd. (That's not work for me, It's worship). I never desire to unplug from adoring my Almighty, Personal Lord, my Shepherd.

Baa... Baa... (It's past 3 a.m. now.)

Grateful