Thursday, June 28, 2012

Help Me To Love And Trust You, Lord!

The Country & Western singer, Hank Williams, Jr., has this line in one of his songs: Why must you live out the songs that you've wrote. (Or something like that, anyway.)

My pastoral mentor, James Spruill, has tried to tell me: The Lord makes preachers live what they preach. In other words, if you preach "Do not be discouraged" get ready to battle discouragement. If you preach on "Christian marriage" get ready for a challenge in your own Christian marriage. And on and on it goes. Or so it often seems that way.

Well, yesterday, I wrote on my blog that God's perfect love presently makes all of our tormenting fears history. I know it's true. However, late last night... You guessed it. Tormenting fears came knocking at my heart's door.

Here's what happened: For about an hour I tried to get one of my family members on the phone. It was getting quite late and still no answer after many calls to their cell phone and home phone. It seemed no one I talked with knew where my loved one was. To say I was frightened and upset would be an understatement. The later it got, the more my fear-filled imagination went wild.

It's already a new day. Yep, it's after midnight now. I just asked God to forgive me and to help me personally more than ever to live out the messages I preach in the pulpit weekly and the subjects I post on my blog daily.Why? Because, I openly confess: Last evening, I imagined all kinds of bad things that might be happening to my family member, because of no answer from their end. It went on for about an hour and I was only about 3 minutes from dialing "911" when suddenly... a friend located my loved one. All was well. Wonderfully well.

I know it might seem I am being a little hard on myself, because after all, I do love my loved ones, however, last night, I did not draw fully from the perfect love of my awesome and available God. Let's just say, I allowed fears of torment to lick on the window panes of my soul.

To top it all off, yesterday, I was being still and knowing that God was God. During my stillness, I even repeated one song on my MP3 player over and over again. The title? I am sure you probably know the song well. It's an old hymn of the Church:

"Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
just to take Him at His word.
Just to rest upon His promise,
And to know, 'Thus saith the Lord'"

Lord, help me to LOVE YOU perfectly and to TRUST YOU totally!
Teach me that tormenting fears have no claim on me!
I'm Yours! You LOVE me!
Grateful

P.S. I'd like to repeat the song just once more, please:
Click here: TIS SO SWEET TO TRUST IN JESUS - YouTube

3 comments:

i am Grateful... Kerry i am. said...

Yes, Lord, Oh for grace (Your favor) to trust You more today than yesterday! Amen. Kerry i am

Mark said...

Kerry,

Thanks for sharing this. Just when I was beginning to think you were "Super Christian" I find out you're a regular guy who fights the same battles we all do. ;-)

FYI, I think the best preachers are the ones that can share the experiences of their walk as we walk together toward Christ likeness.

Mark

i am Grateful... Kerry i am. said...

Thanks brother. I often share especially when I blow it with our people. I always get similar comments to yours whenever I do. My reply, "I was a REGULAR GUY BEFORE I was a pastor?" Laughs follow. Because I am still quite a long shot from walking on water. <'(())><